Isosceles Kramer

You know that Backstreet Boys song that goes, "You are my fi-ire...."? (this can go several different ways. a) you know the song and proudly admit to it, which subsequently makes us friends b) you know the song and won't admit to it, which makes me want to weep or c) you don't know the song, which I respond to with a mixture of admiration and disgust) Anyhoo, the guy who sings that middle part "Now I can see that we're falling apart" - the Old Guy who negated the "boy" part of their boy band - I swear I saw him at Ralph's yesterday. He was in my elevator, and I wanted to say something, or maybe sing a few bars, but I got cold feet. Maybe it wasn't him and he merely shared the same skeezy goatee/moustache combination as the Backstreet Man - who's to say in this funny town? I think we can agree that it was him, right, just so I have another A+ celebrity sighting on my list, someone to topple the current record holder: the guy who played the janitor in The Breakfast Club. Oh, and the entire cast of The Hills, whom we saw in all their angsty blonde glory at Geisha House. For those of you unfamiliar with The Hills, it's a gift from God in a televisual format.

I made some fried rice today and it sucked. I thought so during the first bite, but I kept eating in hopes that my latent cooking skills were hidden somewhere deep in the bowl. Nope. The main problem in my opinion is that I didn't use enough soy sauce. Also, I am impatient by nature and when the recipe says "simmer for four minutes," I'll cook the stuff for 30 seconds and get really fed up with the whole process and convince myself that it's done. And then I'll wallow in self-pity as I eat, for there is nothing more pathetic than eating your own mediocre, half-cooked food, even though the fault is entirely my own. Bah.